When I was in elementary school, I would often ask to go to the restroom.
Because, at the end of the hallway, through closed doors, right outside the bathroom doors, were waist to ceiling windows. And what I saw when I looked out those windows was priceless: The tree tops of MY trees...in MY yard...shading MY house, where MY mom was probably folding warm laundry, while sneaking a peek at
All My Children. To see the tops of my trees made me smile. It was my comfort. I needed that piece of home, even if it was at a glance.
Well, sheesh...the girls have had one full week of school under their belts now. And I think Laney has a bit of me in her. Home is comfort, and even though school is nice and fine...she may have a dull ache for home. I feel for her, but I just have to suck it up and show her my enthusiasm, even though I am hurting more than she will ever know.
Yes, I've had a horrible week. It's hard having the girls gone all day. I feel heavier, probably due to the amounts of tears that I'm keeping inside. But, they do come out at the strangest times. No, of course, not around the kids. My heart aches and I feel sad. It all comes down to this...
change.
I don't like it, and it takes me a while to melt into it. It will be fine once I do though.
So, the girls are off in the morning and come home all happy about their days.

Yes, it gives me the most wonderful time with this guy. Just us, and I think it's huge. This guy...the one who sings his ABC's all the time, cheers Dora on, telling her YOU DID IT! This guy who for the first time today told his daddy I LOVE YOU.

This guy who absolutely adores Buzz and Woody...plays with anything Toy Story! This is my guy.
And my 13 year old...oh how she misses the girls. But, she does enjoy her quiet naps when Henry is down too. She's always quick to cuddle on my lap when I sit...and always comes to comfort when I cry.

And I spend a little more time with my outside friends too. (Now that the girls are gone, I've added a lunch menu for my critter friends!) A few months ago, this little one came here as a bitty babe. Now it's ready to tackle the world on it's own. (And with the help of my lunch meal too!)
Yes, my girls are up and ready each day. Today was no exception. I've been walking Laney into her classroom every morning. Today she wanted to take baby. She wouldn't let her go.

As we walked to her classroom, I asked Laney if I could take baby for the day. I thought baby would enjoy a nice day in town with Henry and me. I talked up quite a day for baby. And baby wanted to go with me to pick out Laney's special gift. A gift that Jon and I agreed on if Laney had a nice first week. In the end, baby was willingly handed over, and my girl went off to class with a smile. Yep, I do think baby had a nice day: car ride, family lunch with Jon, Henry and me, and of course, picking out Laney's new Justin Bieber barbie.
When we got home from school, I showed these pix to Laney. She loved them...and screamed in delight when she saw the JB pix!
Do I think I spoil my kids with unnecessary things? Yes. Do I worry about it? Yes. But, here's my thoughts...
1. Life is very short.
2. It goes by soooo fast.
3. You don't get any do-overs.
No, Laney did not need the barbie. No, Emily did not need the markers. No, they did not need the $5 movie.
I remember when I was little, I would walk home from school and my mom would be out in the yard, waiting for me. I loved going inside, especially on grocery days. All of the groceries were all over the kitchen, except for the perishables, which she always promptly put away. Seeing my mom, my home...it was so alive and cheery. (Except for the time that I came home to a black kitchen...small kitchen fire, but my mom didn't skip a beat and seemed not to keep her from a nice after school welcome.) So....all of these little gifts for my kids, yes...unnecessary, but it makes me feel alive, and I want them to have the same warm welcome as I did when I came home from school. It doesn't matter if I make homemade apple cinnamon/chocolate chip cake or place store bought chocolate chip cookies on a plate...

I'm pretty sure it makes my kids happy, feel comfort and love. And some day they will know that I try my hardest.
All in all, change is happening and we are all adjusting to it in our own ways, in our own time. And in the end, it will all be fine. I am THAT mom who cries a lot and well, I'm okay with it. I'm okay with doing everything I can for my children because these days will soon be gone, and my babies will be grown. Why not seize this opportunity?

Off to spend some time loving on my kiddos. It's the weekend! And goodness, we are gonna enjoy!!!!!
HOPE YOU ALL HAVE A GRAND WEEKEND!